Why do you
light the flame
and watch it burn
so intently
I watch
as tiny flickers
bounce off
and try to catch
him or me
Which ever one
is more fluid
For a minute
I thought I heard
a language
that was lost once
But I see
it's just ramblings
from a woman
I used to know
Her words
twisted up
in a funnel
of red and yellow
Twisting
and bending
until they all fall
loosely
on the ground
I kneel
and touch the ones
that were left
uncharred
Perhaps they weren't
ramblings
after all
Whew. Whether this speaker is responding to her self or to another, your poem captures the intense emotion behind seeemingly random expressions of someone no longer listened to, O, my!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this great comment, Susan :) I like your take on this. I think it's a mix of someone that's no longer listened to, but also an understanding that you can always find some truth in a person's ramblings.
DeleteI can see the words twisting in that funnel of yellow and red....such a cool image, Torie!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sherry!!! Happy Wednesday to you :)
Deletenice motion in this... the form worked well
ReplyDeleteThank you, Wolfsrosebud!!
Delete"I kneel / and touch the ones / that were left / uncharred"...words that survive so much heat and flame may not be rambling after all....truth dwells in unexpected places...lovely imagery used here Torie..
ReplyDeleteIt surely does, Sumana. Thank you so much for your thoughts :)
DeleteThis seems to me like it is about someone with Alzheimer's Disease perhaps....someone whose words no longer make sense. Perhaps I am wrong, but reading the poem that way gives a vivid picture to me.
ReplyDeleteI love the different interpretations poetry brings :) I'm glad you got such a vivid picture from this, Mary :) Thank you.
Deletewords once said stay around ...close to us...the only difference is that words comfort as well as cause pain...a lovely composition of thoughts and feelings
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment, Anjum! I appreciate your visit :)
DeleteSometimes we just have to hear the words that matter, the rest are just chatter. What a lovely poem. I like its smoothness, gentleness though it expresses doubt, it's more like a flirtation. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteI like this comment of yours!! Hearing the words that matter. Yes. Yes. That's what it's all about!
DeleteUgh. It looks like I lost my comment.
ReplyDeleteEssentially, not to repeat myself, I said I really enjoyed this poem. It is lovely.
Aww, your comment was not lost, Myrna ;) I approve all comments, but have been out and about today, so it took me some time. Thank you for your nice words :)
DeleteSo many of our words slip away unheard, wisdom, confessions, love poems and perhaps so important are they that by their own volition they travel on and reach the ones intended as a thought or dream that will explain everything to them.
ReplyDeleteI like your thoughts, Old Egg :) Such nice insight you've given. Thank you for that!
DeleteNicely expressed with a touch of cynicism about the words, questioning the genuineness .
ReplyDeleteThank you, rallentanda for your visit and for you wonderful comment!!
DeleteIt reminded me of the person with aphasia (often an issue for Alzheimers) when words come out in a jumble. A nicely written poem.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Moonie :)
DeletePerhaps they were not!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your visit, annell :)
DeleteWhat a beautiful piece..it fitted with the falling leaves scrolling down your blog page as well!
ReplyDeleteOh, I guess it kind of does match the falling leaves! I didn't think of that. Thank you, Jae Rose :)
Deletei echo Moonie's take yet it could be someone trying to discern a meaning in jumble of words much like two lovers bantering.
ReplyDeletegracias, wonderfully scripted
Thank you for commenting and for visiting, Marcoantonio!!
DeleteThe fragments of wisdom are very hard to piece together.
ReplyDeleteIndeed they are. Good to see you GL. Thanks for your visit :)
Delete