My Own Beat

You can't
burn me out
I refuse
to hand over
that power
The power
that only I
can wield
so truly
You have
no say 
in the things
that make
me dance
I've found
my own beat
My own rhythm
that does not
belong to you



-September 2018

The Net

I get caught up in it

The net

The struggle

The shackles that bind

The enormity

It fills up my insides

like silver bullets

waiting to ring

I often find

it's getting harder
to breathe

It drowns me

with little subtlety
or tracks to trace

Just a lingering layer
as thick

as the thickest
fruit rind
Maybe I'll plant
the seeds
and wait to see
what grows there

-August 2017

My Belonging

I'm not waiting
for someone
to break me open
I've done that
on my own
I've suffered quietly
without the light
from the sun, the stars
or the moon
No hand held me
while I cried
No hand consoled me
while I writhed
No lips danced
in time with mine
while the clouds
ran and dripped
as if the growth
of everything
depended on its moisture
Yet I have made
my own hands bleed
in search of a home
that did not exist
All the places I've known
have been boarded up
Shackled and shrouded
in darkness of its own
But I felt the flicker
of a flame
that burned 
from deep within
I've held the mirror
Examined each part
I've held myself
Consoled myself
Kissed myself
and let the warmth
spread through me
like it's known
this path all along
I've returned home
to myself
My heart
My truth
My true belonging



-September 2018

Static

I'm beginning to lose
your beat
The electricity
has turned to static
instead of heat
And it feels like
you have your back
against a wall
Would you even care
if my next fall
wasn't for you at all
I can feel
the question loom
not too high
above the room
where the smoke
never clears
As we breathe in deep
this empty space
is starting to seep
I've been mending
the hardening
of my heart
But those flowers
that once loved
to bloom
have already begun
to fall apart



-January/September 2018

Masks

I've been
wearing masks
that don't
belong to me
I've been playing
a little
make-believe
I've spent
so much time
in the corners
of my mind
Gathering
all this strength
I never knew
was mine



- July 2017 / July 2018

Dust and Molasses

Hard and bitter
is the truth
There's no
juice left
to moisten
my bones
I've just
left them
to splinter
My feet
have begun
to drip
with dust
and molasses
The path's
become unlit
and smoky
The stars 
have fallen
from their place
in the night
And all
that was left
to see
in the world
has gone dim



-February 2016