Thursday, November 4, 2010


In the pit of despair is where
I find myself, again
after all these years
and all these dulled senses I have left
it's a never ending maze
left inside me
where can I go from here
into whose arms can I fall apart
break apart
into unrecognizable pieces
pieces of my existence 
of my soul
I break apart so easily
so fragile I am...
I just want to feel whole again


Friday, October 29, 2010

My Starlit Man

Love me all morning
cradle me all dawn
Promise to love me
all night long
My Sweet Starlit Man

Cover me with your hands
in the moonlit sand
Drown me in your kisses
My Starlit Man

I'll love you 'til the oceans dry
and the earth is no more
I'll love you even when
my heart is too sore
My Sweet Starlit Man

I'll wrap you in my wings of love
and show you all tenderness
I'll lay you in the moonlit sand
and drown you in my kisses
My Sweet, Sweet Starlit Man


Thursday, October 28, 2010

You Were The One

You were the one 
that held my hand
you were the one
who said
you'd always understand

Now I'm here with out you
facing the everyday
I can't seem to remember
the way you said my name

You were the one
that turned your back on me
and when I look in the mirror
sometimes it's your face I see
staring back at me


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My Heart Wants To Love You

My heart wants to love you
and to fall asleep to your voice
every night

My heart wants to love you
and feel the weight of your skin
so warm against mine

My heart wants to love you
for all the days of my life
to breath in all the moments
that come and go


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

My Plaguing Disease

I can feel you inside
like a plaguing disease
there's nowhere to hide
you'll always find me

how can you exist
inside of my bones
this hollow inside me
I'm starting to call home

those hateful eyes
that overtook me
memories that exist
I wish were only a dream

for there's nowhere to go
just a dark deep sea
it feels like these memories
will forever plague me


Monday, September 13, 2010

My poems are usually about love. Sometimes sadness and sometimes fear or heartache.


Escape the pit of loneliness
Let the void inside you die
It's okay to wrap yourself in sheets
and lie in bed and cry
Forgive the world of hatred
and relinquish all your fears
Don't drown yourself in sorrows
from all those painful years


My Hearts Truth To You 

I don't even know how 
I hung on so long
I guess being alone
just felt so wrong

Oh, I needed someone
just to to be there
Now I see that keeping you
just wasn't fair

You didn't love me
the way I needed you to
So many restless nights
I spent with you

Love should be a good feeling
that you have deep inside
It shouldn't be so hard
and make me cry

But you didn't hold me
the way I needed you to
With all the emptiness inside
I didn't know what to do

You didn't love me
the way I needed you to
Now my heart knows
what it has to do


Friday, September 10, 2010

Mmm...being in love as a teenager. It always felt like the end of the world when things didn't go right.

Don't Tell Me

Take my heart and ignore it
Pretend I don't exist anymore
But need me only when you
want to
Tell me all your pain
but don't listen to me
Brush me off!
Tell me you're sorry
Tell me all the reasons you are not here
Tell me it doesn't matter

Say you're doing it for us
Realize you're doing this for you
only you
I am not in your hands anymore
Please! Don't tell me you're sorry
when I cry
For you don't know
 the meaning of the words


I Cared 

I never cared to watch you leave
No, I never cared to drink some tea
with you
I never even cared
to see you smile
I never cared
for a while
I didn't watch you sleep
and you never made me weep
My world was fine
just how I liked it
Now it's turned upside down
No, I don't even care
because you're no longer inside
And you're never gonna find another
to wash your clothes in Tide


But I Do 

Not wanting myself to remember
Losing all memories of your touch
Letting you go from my thoughts
Making you fade away
Not wanting to miss you
because it hurts too much
Never letting myself miss you
Not wanting to deal with the pain
All of this
meaning nothing
I miss your touch
I want to remember you
To be in my thoughts
To feel the pain
Wanting you near me
Needing you to know me
Not wanting to miss all that
I do miss all that


Valley of Your Heart 

I walked through the valley
of your heart
and I searched through the valley
of your heart
and I found nothing I wanted to keep
in your heart
so I left
and I walked away from
 your heart
and you didn't say much
 to keep me there
you stood there with out caring
and now as I walk by
I won't be starring
at you anymore



Take my heart
and fill it up with promises
but whatever you do
don't break them
My mind is thoughtful
but my feelings are weak
Please be careful because I'm fragile
Take care of me like baseball cards
or a precious guitar
But I can't be traded or played
I have soft spoken words
and a shy personality
I won't be taken advantage of 
You can tell me those stories and make me believe
But I'll always know they're lies


Thursday, September 9, 2010

So here's a few poems I've written.

These poems are from years ago, about 1999.  Well here goes nothing...

Bleeding Heart 

how do you know me
so well
inside and out
my heart bleeds upon
your floor, for
it knows nothing of 
courtesy or manners
it'll over flow through 
your hands until you
caress it like a broken
bird, without hope
of being touched
with gentle ways
and praises of God
  Hurry Love!
bandage my wound
before your carpet
is tainted crimson


Just Kiss Me!

Take a hold of my hand
and pull me to you
look into my eyes
and put your hands on my face
then touch your lips to mine
       just kiss me!
don't let the moment end
I want to feel your breath
upon my skin
make my body quiver
as you whisper in my ear
tell me nothing else matters


A Letter To You 

If I wrote a letter to you, I wonder what I'd say.
Tell you I miss you, in every conceivable way.
Because things are so hard, or because it's really true.
I try to occupy myself and time
and in the end, my thoughts are still of you.
I remember your voice and hear your laugh.
The color of your eyes. Shit, why do i think of that?
I remember your face so perfectly
the soft feel of your hands
what would I say to you
if in front of me you did stand
That I love you. Even though i know it's been years.
Could I say all these things to you,
without the salty taste of my tears.
I have another, and I know so do you
my heart is aching so deep inside
maybe because it always belonged to you
my feelings are not fair
and I'm trying to keep them inside
my heart wants to be uncovered
I no longer want to hide
I miss you more than I ever dreamed
I tried to move on
at least that's what it seemed
of all I feel, I am scared to death
but what I wouldn't give
to feel your sweet deep breath
my heart aches for you
it feels stronger every day
when I see you i'll know
that i'll always feel this way


New to blogging.

I'm new to the blogging world. This is sort of a trial run here. This blog is going to be about what inspires me. I sort of feel stuck in my life right now and writing helps me sort through things. I'm better at writing what I feel rather than verbally expressing myself. I view that as both a weakness and a strength. Writing relaxes me in a way nothing else does. Writing is my therapy, my comfort.
I keep journals. I've done that for years and years. I also write poems. So, I've decided that's what I'm going to put in my blog. Poems I've written years ago and some fairly recent. I feel like I just want to put my words out there for anyone to see. And if you like it great and if you don't then I think that's great too. Not everyone will like what I have to say and I'm now o.k. with that. So I'm going to post some of my writing and I hope someone out there likes it.