Pieces

In the pit of despair is where
I find myself, again
after all these years
and all these dulled senses I have left
it's a never ending maze
left inside me
where can I go from here
into whose arms can I fall apart
break apart
into unrecognizable pieces
pieces of my existence 
of my soul
I break apart so easily
so fragile I am...
I just want to feel whole again


-2010

My Starlit Man

Love me all morning

cradle me all dawn

Promise to love me

all night long

My Sweet Starlit Man

Cover me with your hands

in the moonlit sand

Drown me in your kisses

My Starlit Man

I'll love you 'til the oceans dry

and the earth is no more

I'll love you even when

my heart is too sore

My Sweet Starlit Man

I'll wrap you in my wings of love

and show you all tenderness

I'll lay you in the moonlit sand

and drown you in my kisses

My Sweet, Sweet Starlit Man

-2001

You Were The One

You were the one 
that held my hand
you were the one
who said
you'd always understand


Now I'm here with out you
facing the everyday
I can't seem to remember
the way you said my name


You were the one
that turned your back on me
and when I look in the mirror
sometimes it's your face I see
staring back at me


-2010

My Heart Wants To Love You

My heart wants to love you
and to fall asleep to your voice
every night


My heart wants to love you
and feel the weight of your skin
so warm against mine


My heart wants to love you
for all the days of my life
to breath in all the moments
that come and go


-2010

My Plaguing Disease

I can feel you inside
like a plaguing disease
there's nowhere to hide
you'll always find me


how can you exist
inside of my bones
this hollow inside me
I'm starting to call home


those hateful eyes
that overtook me
memories that exist
I wish were only a dream


for there's nowhere to go
just a dark deep sea
it feels like these memories
will forever plague me


-2010

My poems are usually about love. Sometimes sadness and sometimes fear or heartache.

Escape 

Escape the pit of loneliness

Let the void inside you die

It's okay to wrap yourself in sheets

and lie in bed and cry

Forgive the world of hatred

and relinquish all your fears

Don't drown yourself in sorrows

from all those painful years

-1999

My Hearts Truth To You 

I don't even know how 

I hung on so long

I guess being alone

just felt so wrong

Oh, I needed someone

just to to be there

Now I see that keeping you

just wasn't fair

You didn't love me

the way I needed you to

So many restless nights

I spent with you

Love should be a good feeling

that you have deep inside

It shouldn't be so hard

and make me cry

But you didn't hold me

the way I needed you to

With all the emptiness inside

I didn't know what to do

You didn't love me

the way I needed you to

Now my heart knows

what it has to do

-2010

Mmm...being in love as a teenager. It always felt like the end of the world when things didn't go right.

Don't Tell Me

Take my heart and ignore it

Pretend I don't exist anymore

But need me only when you

want to

Tell me all your pain

but don't listen to me

Brush me off!

Tell me you're sorry

Tell me all the reasons you are not here

Tell me it doesn't matter

Say you're doing it for us

Realize you're doing this for you

only you

I am not in your hands anymore

Please! Don't tell me you're sorry

when I cry

For you don't know

 the meaning of the words

-1999

I Cared 

I never cared to watch you leave

No, I never cared to drink some tea

with you

I never even cared

to see you smile

I never cared

for a while

I didn't watch you sleep

and you never made me weep

My world was fine

just how I liked it

Now it's turned upside down

No, I don't even care

because you're no longer inside

And you're never gonna find another

to wash your clothes in Tide

-1999

But I Do 

Not wanting myself to remember

Losing all memories of your touch

Letting you go from my thoughts

Making you fade away

Not wanting to miss you

because it hurts too much

Never letting myself miss you

Not wanting to deal with the pain

All of this

meaning nothing

I miss your touch

I want to remember you

To be in my thoughts

To feel the pain

Wanting you near me

Needing you to know me

Not wanting to miss all that

I do miss all that

-1998

Valley of Your Heart 

I walked through the valley

of your heart

and I searched through the valley

of your heart

and I found nothing I wanted to keep

in your heart

so I left

and I walked away from

 your heart

and you didn't say much

 to keep me there

you stood there with out caring

and now as I walk by

I won't be starring

at you anymore

-1998

Gently 

Take my heart

and fill it up with promises

but whatever you do

don't break them

My mind is thoughtful

but my feelings are weak

Please be careful because I'm fragile

Take care of me like baseball cards

or a precious guitar

But I can't be traded or played

I have soft spoken words

and a shy personality

I won't be taken advantage of 

You can tell me those stories and make me believe

But I'll always know they're lies

-1997

So here's a few poems I've written.

These poems are from years ago, about 1999.  Well here goes nothing...

Bleeding Heart 

how do you know me

so well

inside and out

my heart bleeds upon

your floor, for

it knows nothing of 

courtesy or manners

it'll over flow through 

your hands until you

caress it like a broken

bird, without hope

of being touched

with gentle ways

and praises of God

  Hurry Love!

bandage my wound

before your carpet

is tainted crimson

-1999

Just Kiss Me!

Take a hold of my hand

and pull me to you

look into my eyes

and put your hands on my face

then touch your lips to mine

       just kiss me!

don't let the moment end

I want to feel your breath

upon my skin

make my body quiver

as you whisper in my ear

tell me nothing else matters

-1999

A Letter To You 

If I wrote a letter to you, I wonder what I'd say.

Tell you I miss you, in every conceivable way.

Because things are so hard, or because it's really true.

I try to occupy myself and time

and in the end, my thoughts are still of you.

I remember your voice and hear your laugh.

The color of your eyes. Shit, why do i think of that?

I remember your face so perfectly

the soft feel of your hands

what would I say to you

if in front of me you did stand

That I love you. Even though i know it's been years.

Could I say all these things to you,

without the salty taste of my tears.

I have another, and I know so do you

my heart is aching so deep inside

maybe because it always belonged to you

my feelings are not fair

and I'm trying to keep them inside

my heart wants to be uncovered

I no longer want to hide

I miss you more than I ever dreamed

I tried to move on

at least that's what it seemed

of all I feel, I am scared to death

but what I wouldn't give

to feel your sweet deep breath

my heart aches for you

it feels stronger every day

when I see you i'll know

that i'll always feel this way

-2009

New to blogging.

I'm new to the blogging world. This is sort of a trial run here. This blog is going to be about what inspires me. I sort of feel stuck in my life right now and writing helps me sort through things. I'm better at writing what I feel rather than verbally expressing myself. I view that as both a weakness and a strength. Writing relaxes me in a way nothing else does. Writing is my therapy, my comfort.
I keep journals. I've done that for years and years. I also write poems. So, I've decided that's what I'm going to put in my blog. Poems I've written years ago and some fairly recent. I feel like I just want to put my words out there for anyone to see. And if you like it great and if you don't then I think that's great too. Not everyone will like what I have to say and I'm now o.k. with that. So I'm going to post some of my writing and I hope someone out there likes it.