Passivity

I pray 
like I fuck

Carelessly
and without
Adoration

Conform
Comply
Submit

Isn't that what
they want

That's what he wanted
And that's what he wanted
And that's what she wanted too

Drip with passivity
and they'll do it
gently

Don't agitate
Don't turn
Don't breathe
too loud

Don't exist

Keep your opinions
to yourself

And don't question
them
Don't question
them
Don't question
them

Agree
Agree
Agree

You learn to be
numb

You crave it
like a sweetness
you've never had

Feeling
Healing

They both mean burning

Burning
like you've never known


-September 2017

A Piece Of My Truth

Yes

Yes, I know

that it's been there

Here

This whole time

I've refused

the very idea

of it all

It's been here

Setting fire

to my veins

Poisoning

my air

and causing

all the rapid beating

of my heart

You want

admittance

for the sake

of breathing

I've been

letting myself

suffocate

while rubbing

daisies

between my

finger tips

Waiting for a peace

I never allow

to come

-January 2016

Admittedly Broken

Running

Harder

Faster

Trying

to catch up

to the light

I keep feeling

the fierce fight

stirring

It can no longer

be contained

I've been broken

So broken

Trying to mend

myself

with tools

that held

no reasoning

Avoiding

reflections

with closed eyes

and a turned cheek

-January 2016

Reflection

I can see you

take him on

You've been doing it

for so long

You forgot to feel

the soft wind

against your ear

The way you have felt

with no one near

Now you try

to calm your soul

Letting go

of what you can't control

And you feel like

you're spinning

Spinning

You've been spinning

for so long

You take a look

at your reflection

You see a woman

that's too hard to question

But question you must

You are losing the face

you're needing to trust

And you wonder why

she can't let go

Of all the things

she already knows

I see you reach

for her face

Knowing she's the one

you must embrace

-May 2017

That Echo

That echo

through the grain

The one

that beat so fiercely

I still feel it

sinking

in my chest

Heavy 

and full of things

once deeply buried

But all things

rise

with time

Just like

the sun and the moon

I can feel it

Taste it

With each
heaving breath

I breathe

-May 2017

Falling Fall Leaves

There's a game you play

When you watch the leaves falling

Deep down inside

you know what's been calling

But your hands keep on slipping

from those stiff silver reins

You trot a little faster

hoping it's the happiness you'll gain

But the ice keeps on melting

and nothing defrosts your bone

You can't seem to remember

the direction toward home

And your heart seems to linger

in all that dark empty space

Where you hold no desire

for what's trimmed with white lace

-April 2017

For Me

I can't

I can't look to the sun

There's nothing I see

Except an endlessly disintegrating dream

You know the one

The one you read about

Heard about

The one on the never-ending loop

You're never complete

without the strong hold of the opposite

Forget the things you can not outrun 

Look in the mirror first

before laying down each crown

I had to see where I've been

And it's dark

Dark as darkest night

Where the moon often

withheld its light

I had no torch to light my way

Only a feeling

too often ignored

I taste it now

It's been lacking conviction

So I've staked my claim on my own self

I feel that in my bones

And I'll no longer bleed

for anyone else but me

-August 2017