Old Reels

I'm sorry I had to
crawl into myself
and leave you waiting
on the ledge
I left you out
in my storm
where you could not see
your own shadow
I've been digging
and digging
with my bare hands
while listening 
to the echoes
of the past
I close my eyes
Watch the old movies play
The silence
can be deafening
When I dig deep enough
I feel the hot air
It sets my body
on fire
I do not wish
to be here
But there's power
in these old reels
I've already begun
to suck them dry
I've begun to feel
the pull of opposites
and the curiosity
of who I'll find
when the reels
have finally
stopped playing



-January 2018