Thursday, July 17, 2014


I feel the grittiness
as I pack the sand
in your chest

You shall feel
all the weight 
you've burdened
me with

Does God really breed
such hate
such evil
such disgrace

I never had 
the chance
to know purity
and innocence

You became my creator
of all things

I bathed
a thousand times
and still felt

You've stained me
with your colors
of guilt

I'm riddled
with holes
from my own noise
and flashbacks
of your face
your smell
your touch

If I let you sink
in the muddy waters
will I recognize
the bell that rings
or the familiar stranger
of a peaceful nights

-July 2014


  1. This is a deep read, Torie, and I am so sorry for what happened to you. So poignant "I never had the chance to know purity and innocence." I know this situation well, Torie, and what I have learned is that once one understands - truly - that it was not one's fault and all the blame is the perpetrator's, hopefully she can find a way to stand, whole and free, under the sunlight again. I hope you wont let that person steal any more years from you. You were born for happiness. Grab it with both hands. It is time.

    1. From the deepest part of my heart, Sherry Blue Sky, I thank you for these words you've given me. It's a process that's filled with a wave of emotions that I'm doing my best to sift through. I look forward to the day that I can stand free and bask in the light of the sun. Thank you again. I'll always remember your kindness :)

  2. Torie, my daughter struggled for years to find her way into the sunlight. Dr Phil always says ":That person took so much from you. Dont let him take one more day of your life." Rest and heal, life gets so much better! It is all a long healing journey and quite amazing when you get to my age. Smiles.

    1. I do believe that you are right. And I know that Dr Phil can be pretty wise, haha ;) I'm sorry your daughter has endured all the pain. You've made it sound like she has found peace. I know that I will, too. I know that I will come out of this a stronger person and I look forward to that.

      Thank you again. I can't express the feeling that you've given me. I'm grateful to have found Poets United because it has connected me with you. Blessings to you, Sherry. And to your daughter.