Altered

These lakes are becoming

a little dryer

The sand isn't as muddy

as I'm used to

As time moves on I find

that I'm not looking for more

I'm not searching 

for your difference

Although at times I do wonder

where all that water went

Did it somehow get soaked up

and become part of your soul?

Or has it merely been sucked down

into the vast dryness of the earth?

All I know

is what I'm seeing

My sandcastles

just won't have moats anymore

-March 2014

Still Wading

I close my eyes

and just swim in darkness

Sometimes the darkness feels better

I've been wading in this water

for so long

I'm just now beginning to feel my limbs 

grow stronger

It seems they have come too late

My head is barely above the rim

My body seems to be stiffening

I've been kicking too hard

and for too long

My limbs have grown tired

Somehow

Someway

I know I need to keep kicking

-April 2014

Path Of My Own

There are no footsteps to follow

I couldn't see them when I've tried

At times this place seems unruly

and I wish it wasn't so wide

So I'll keep wandering through this forest

trying to make a path of my own

I'm not sure where it will lead me

but following I have out grown

The only thing I can do

is keep carrying myself along

and hope that one day soon

I'll find where I belong

-February 2014

Change

I try to avoid you

I try to avoid your gaze

You're never ending

Just when I think

everything is up

I turn and find things falling

Like dirty ribbons

I see no clear path

I see nothing in front of me

But you

You keep moving

You keep passing me by

Your unyielding gravity

makes me run scared

in all the wrong directions

You make me dream of sleep

I'd like to stay there

where it's warm and safe

There's no warning

to heed

It just comes

It just goes

It just is

-February 2014

The Walls I've Built

The walls I've built

used to be sturdy and strong

I built them to be that way

they kept out everything that was wrong

The walls I've built

are becoming old and worn

full of cracks that have begun to spiderweb

I'm beginning to feel weak and torn

These walls I've built

I thought they'd be everlasting

and never let me down

now they're filling up with everything

and I feel like I might drown

These walls I've built

are busting at every seam

maybe if I tear them down

I'll be okay enough to dream

-October 2013

Lost

I feel lost inside of myself

I'm not even sure which direction to search

I don't even know if it matters

I don't even know if I care

Where did that spark go

Did it follow my ambitions

into the darkness

Down into the hollow hole

I find so comforting these days

Sometimes I think I see her

twisting and writhing in self doubt

I can't seem to find a hand to lend

A simple hand . . . 

Mine feel so weak these days

-August 2013

Weeping Willow

Oh, willow tree

Do you weep for sorrow

Do you weep for me

Do you weep for the tomorrows

that you may never get to see

Who do you weep for

little willow tree

Are your bending branches too weak

for all your tiny leaves

-August 2013