The Cracks Inside The Walls

How strong

do I look

I'm sturdier

than you think

I've been

growing

my garden

without

the water

from the

kitchen sink

I've taken

this dust

and turned it

into wood
I've done it
in a way
you never
thought
I could
But you
don't see
the work
Just the pieces
left behind
Then you
go and tell me
I'm losing
my own mind
I've built
my own supports
The frame
has been
in place
You can't
blow me down
then expect
to leave 
without a trace
Your needless
hammering
has echoed
through these halls
While I've 
been busy filling
all the cracks
inside the walls


-October 2015

A Place To Be

Get up

Put the coffee on

Look out

at the sky

See the puffy

white clouds

moving gracefully by

With no particular

place to be

Today that feels

just like me

I'm just sitting here

in a chair

Looking back

at this last year

Grateful

for where I've been

All the places

I've put myself in

In pain

In hate

In anger

In hurt

So many ways

I've learned

to use my words

In the deepness

where I've been

swallowed up whole

Out in the light

when I've learned

to truly let go

In the wind

where the tears

touched my cheeks

In love

where he's held me

while I've cried myself

to sleep

In solace

where it's okay

not to know

all the reasons why

In knowing

I'll learn them

all in time

In right now

the only place to be

I've learned

that my comfort

my home

lives inside of me

That's quite a remarkable

place to be

-January 2017

Mining For Diamonds

It feels good

to release

Even in its

smallest measure

Like mining

for a diamond

One piece of earth

at a time

The struggle

is strong

and burdensome

Weakness

will sometimes prevail

You'll often feel

undone and spent

Begging to dig

no more

Barely scratching

the surface

before it feels

you've already dug

too deep

No ladder seems

long enough

or strong enough

to stable you 

to ever climb out

Moments of rest

are needed 

to gather the strength

you know you'll need

to begin again

-August 2016

The Echo Through The Grain

There's the door

I can touch

its surface

Feel the thick

sturdiness

of the grain

I feel

But there's no knob

to turn

or twist

Just a seam

around the edges

too thin

for prying

A small

single keyhole

offers a glimpse

of what lies

on the other side

I peer

with one 

squinting eye

as I rest

one knee

on the rocks

beneath my feet

Hands shaking

and sweaty

I rest them
against the door

for balance

Place my ear

to the wood

and listen

to the beat

of my own heart

echoing

through the grain

-January 2016

I'm On Fire

Is this 

what healing 

looks like

It ain't pretty

Is this

what healing

looks like

I'm feeling shitty

Is this

what healing

looks like

My eyes are tired

Is this

what healing 

looks like

My soul's on fire

I'm on fire

I'm on fire

I'm on fire

And I've only

just begun

-January 2016

Hiatus

Hello. I am still writing, but am currently taking a break from posting my poems. I will return at some point in the near future. When I do, I hope to stick around for much longer. Sometimes we just need to take time to heal ourselves before moving forward. I appreciate those who take time to visit my space.

Thank you for the support. I'll be back soon :)

Torie

While I Grow

I'm too sensitive

for the blunt force

of your stick

I won't

harden my shell

to make it thick

I watch

as you try to 

bleed me dry

But I have fists

resting

in my veins

You won't

burn me out

or use red

to paint my name

The truth

you think 

you know

makes me

run wild

beneath the moon's

yellow glow

And it's there

where you can watch

while I grow

and grow

and grow

-November 2015