Carnivore

I've written you
again and again
I've gone against
the grain
and managed
to come out
the other side
mostly intact
I find that I'm
still pulling pieces
of myself
from out between
your teeth
Surprised
by all the ways
that you've made
me bleed



- November 2018

The Wild

I'm in 
the wild
It feels
oddly freeing
I've never
tried it on
quite like
this before
I'm feeling
each piece
as it rests against
my flesh
Some things
sting
and make me 
bleed
and I allow 
myself to feel
each drip
like its purpose
will be known
any second
Some things
make me dance
and shine
and for those
I hold no question
I allow myself
to bask
in the glow
like there's no
other reason
to breathe
except to feel
this warmth
and light
as I make
my body move
to rhythms
only I can invent
The wild
It does make me
smile
Even through
the stings
For it's
the sting that
reminds me
I'm alive




- November 2018 / May 2019

Solo Trip

I've been here
before
I've seen
all the signs
There's no need
to break me
I've been doing that
on my own
Too afraid of
letting go
But you take my
ripe round heart
You squeeze it
with just one hand
Before I hit
the ground
I find
there is no
soft place
to land
Then you tell me
that you're no
airplane
and I'm not your
landing strip
Then what
the hell
am I doing on
this lonely
solo trip



- April 2017

Your Beat And Mine

Let it all
fall away
Nothing left
but your beat
and mine



-August 2018

Cookie-Cutter Dream

The cookie-cutter
dream
pressed deep
into my
heart
It's left a
hole
in the shape
of you
It tastes
sometimes
bitter
sometimes
sweet


- October 2018

New Year's Eve

What will I 
bring in
What will I
let go
Each question
swims in my mind
It feels like
I take
deeper breaths
these days
There's a clock
on the wall
that doesn't
speak to me
in time
It speaks to me
in weight
And I keep
saying
that I can't
carry anymore
but the clock
has noise-cancelling
headphones on
and I find
that I'm
yelling
into the void
I've had
to learn how
to turn
my voice
inward
and soothe 
each piece
of rawness
It's okay
It's okay
These words
made the salt water
drip free in a way
it hasn't done
for the last 
hundred years
Each time
it happens
the heaviness
doesn't feel quite
so heavy
It's just light enough
so that I don't 
actually lose
my mind
like those 
I've held so dear
Yes, this year
has bittered
my tongue
At times it's felt
like I've lost
so much
and gained
so little
But I know
that the opposite
is also true
I've tasted
a sweetness
I never knew
existed here
A strength
A truth
that keeps me 
pushing through
it all
Because after all
of the bitterness
my tongue
has soaked in
It's the sweet juice
that runs through
my mouth
that keeps
my heart
from hardening



- December 2018

My Place

There's a truth here
The here that lies in wait
In wait of the sun
In wait of the moon
In wait of the way the tide
keeps me in this space
The space that feels 
light and heavy
at the same time
Like the way the wind
shakes the trees
The way the birds glide
through the skies
I held your gravity that way once
I've nestled myself
in the crevice of your warmth
And the absence of you
has left me feeling like I've broken
against a new dawn
A new day and time
And things keep feeling
so strange here
Yet in a way 
I feel that I've found
my place
for the very first time



- December 2018